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OZ Christmas Fic for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
roguemarch
Pairing: B/K
Fandom: OZ
Prompt: Christmas
A/N: It gets a wee bit angsty toward the end, but it seemed to be the most realistic thing to complete the list.
“Could you stop that? For fuck’s sake, the hundred bottles of beer song is less annoying.”
“Is that a crack?”
“Is what a what?”
“Because I’m an alcoholic.”
“You’re acting like a bitch again.”
“Sorry,” Toby mumbled and then began humming.
“Will you please fucking stop?”
“I’m stuck.”
“I’m sure it’ll come to you eventually.”
“I can’t get past nine.”
“Well, the nine ladies dancing should be sufficient for anyone. More’n that is just greedy. Although the five golden rings are a nice touch.”
“Why doesn’t the true love give anything practical?”
“He’s your true love. It’s supposed to be whimsical. It’s not as if your true love was going to bring you socks or something like that.”
“I wish he would. The floors around here are freezing. So what would your true love get you?”
Keller appeared to consider this for a moment. “A completely naked man named Toby.”
“It does fit the rhyme scheme.”
“Two window shades.”
“Only two?”
“I’m a bit of an exhibitionist. Three ex-wives.”
“You already have those.”
“Four,” Keller paused, tapping out the meter on his fingers. “Naughty phone calls.”
“But I’m right here.”
“I’m sure you’ll find a way around it. I want the five golden rings.”
“Keep the fucking rings already.”
“Six pairs of tube socks.”
“That was to humor me, wasn’t it?”
“Seven atomic fireballs. And not the generic crap either, the genuine article.”
“You are a strange man. I like what I like.”
“Eight. What’s eight?”
“Maids a-milking.”
“Milking my…”
“I don’t think so. Try again.”
“Eight socket wrenches.”
Toby laughed. “What the hell will you need them for?”
“Practical item. I may have to brain somebody.”
“Well, that’s Christmas-y.”
“Isn’t it? I’m taking the nine ladies dancing.”
“Ten lords a’leaping. How ‘bout that? I figured it out. Thank you.”
“This is the stupidest song ever. Between the fucking birds and the queers dancing around. Might as well be ten men to blow me.”
“Well, eleven is pipers piping.”
“I’ve got pipe.” Chris gave Toby a wicked grin.
“What about twelve?”
Chris sighed. “Twelve years of freedom.”
“Only twelve?”
“I’d probably fuck it up long before then anyway.”
“That’s my wish too. Twelve years of freedom with you.”
Chris yanked Toby’s shirt free of his pants. “Why don’t we get started on that first one and see where it takes us?”
“What was that again?”
“A completely naked man named Toby.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Haven't prompted yet? Get your prompt in here.
Fandom: OZ
Prompt: Christmas
A/N: It gets a wee bit angsty toward the end, but it seemed to be the most realistic thing to complete the list.
“Could you stop that? For fuck’s sake, the hundred bottles of beer song is less annoying.”
“Is that a crack?”
“Is what a what?”
“Because I’m an alcoholic.”
“You’re acting like a bitch again.”
“Sorry,” Toby mumbled and then began humming.
“Will you please fucking stop?”
“I’m stuck.”
“I’m sure it’ll come to you eventually.”
“I can’t get past nine.”
“Well, the nine ladies dancing should be sufficient for anyone. More’n that is just greedy. Although the five golden rings are a nice touch.”
“Why doesn’t the true love give anything practical?”
“He’s your true love. It’s supposed to be whimsical. It’s not as if your true love was going to bring you socks or something like that.”
“I wish he would. The floors around here are freezing. So what would your true love get you?”
Keller appeared to consider this for a moment. “A completely naked man named Toby.”
“It does fit the rhyme scheme.”
“Two window shades.”
“Only two?”
“I’m a bit of an exhibitionist. Three ex-wives.”
“You already have those.”
“Four,” Keller paused, tapping out the meter on his fingers. “Naughty phone calls.”
“But I’m right here.”
“I’m sure you’ll find a way around it. I want the five golden rings.”
“Keep the fucking rings already.”
“Six pairs of tube socks.”
“That was to humor me, wasn’t it?”
“Seven atomic fireballs. And not the generic crap either, the genuine article.”
“You are a strange man. I like what I like.”
“Eight. What’s eight?”
“Maids a-milking.”
“Milking my…”
“I don’t think so. Try again.”
“Eight socket wrenches.”
Toby laughed. “What the hell will you need them for?”
“Practical item. I may have to brain somebody.”
“Well, that’s Christmas-y.”
“Isn’t it? I’m taking the nine ladies dancing.”
“Ten lords a’leaping. How ‘bout that? I figured it out. Thank you.”
“This is the stupidest song ever. Between the fucking birds and the queers dancing around. Might as well be ten men to blow me.”
“Well, eleven is pipers piping.”
“I’ve got pipe.” Chris gave Toby a wicked grin.
“What about twelve?”
Chris sighed. “Twelve years of freedom.”
“Only twelve?”
“I’d probably fuck it up long before then anyway.”
“That’s my wish too. Twelve years of freedom with you.”
Chris yanked Toby’s shirt free of his pants. “Why don’t we get started on that first one and see where it takes us?”
“What was that again?”
“A completely naked man named Toby.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Haven't prompted yet? Get your prompt in here.
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Heeeeeeeeeeee. I like their interaction. Very nice!
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I *luvluvluvluv* yaaaaaaa!!! that's so sweet!
“I’d probably fuck it up long before then anyway.”
“That’s my wish too. Twelve years of freedom with you.” ---- FTW!!!
Have I mentioned that I love you?!!!!!
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*hugs* Merry Christmas, sweetie!
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Thanks for reading and commenting!