Meme taken from rosybug

[cmk418]

What are your ten worst films of all time? Anyone can play - just post your answer here as well as in your own LJ.



These may not be all-time baddies, but these were the first ten (or so) unwatchable films that came to mind (I've included explanations here for some, you don't need to do that)

Titanic - I was praying for the boat to sink

Tristan & Isolde - girl throws over Rufus Sewell for some pretty boy (window of disbelief does not raise that high)

Batman & Robin - Considering I snuck into the theater playing this, Schumacher owes me 2+ hours of my life

All Over the Guy - I can be in a relationship if I just work on it? Wow gee (F**k you where you stand, buddy). And who's your audience? Gay men? I seriously wanted to shoot myself after this film

Bowling for Columbine - I seriously wanted to purchase a gun just to shoot Michael Moore after watching this

Notting Hill - Forced to watch this mess.

Gerry - Van Sant has two guys wandering the desert for about 90 minutes (it felt longer). That's it. Two guys walking. Proof that even the masters make mistakes.

Full Frontal/Ocean's Twelve - Part two and three of the masters make mistakes series. This time it's Soderbergh's turn. Technically, Full Frontal is a deliberate mess, and as for Ocean's Twelve - the guys should never have left Vegas.

Adaptation/Shakespeare in Love - I'm Charlie Kaufman/I'm William Shakespeare. Have pity on me. (No.)

The Producers (the musical remake) - Some originals should never be tampered with.

Ooh, I forgot one - First Knight - From the moment Richard Gere (Lancelot) entered the palace and looked at the obviously round table and made the comment "The Round Table", I knew I was in trouble. It only got funnier after that (and I don't think it was meant to be a comedy).

Comments

[sandrine]

The funny thing is, I really liked some of these! *g*

Hmm, some of the worst that immediately come to my mind:

- Zodiac (how to tell the story of a serial killer without an ounce of suspence - and without actually telling a story, either)
- Ocean's Eleven (that one was so bad I didn't even try the sequels)
- Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (bad acting makes my brain hurt)
- Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (actually, the entire trilogy, but this one literately had me fall asleep in the movie theatre)
- eXistenZ (the "virtual reality in the virtual reality in the virtual reality" thing was getting unbearably confusing at soe point)
- Open Water (to this day, I wonder who was supposedly filming with the shaky hand cam - a shark?)
- We Were Soldiers (before this, my refusal to watch Mel Gibson movies was simply born from antipathy for the man - after this, it was perfectly jusified)
- Alexander (too long, bad pacing, plot holes big enough to swallow entire empires - no idea what crack Oliver Stone was on!)
- Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (so pretty - and so pointless!)
- Scary Movie II (worst film I ever saw.... it's just gross)

[cmk418]

Oh, Sky Captain. So many hopes - Jude Law, Angelina Jolie, but so, so dull

I'd second you on SWIII, but I stopped after Phantom Menace.

[revelininsanity.livejournal.com]

What are your ten worst films of all time? Anyone can play - just post your answer here as well as in your own LJ.

Hmmmm...

1. The Italian Job- Yeah, there were good parts, but it was far outweighed by the boring factor. Plus, Mark Wahlberg didn't take his shirt off.

2. The Matrix- What? What? *sigh* I never saw the next two. That one was just plain stupid.

3. Never Been Kissed- Poisoned me against Drew Barrymore. POISONED ME. Then that guy who played her brother- ick.

4. Also The First Knight- ARTHURIAN LEGENDS, WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?

5. Also Shakespeare In Love- Shakespeare was married, like the entire time he was in London. Also, he was in love with a dark-haired lady, the sonnets said so. ALSO THAT WHOLE THING WAS STUPID.

6. Fantastic Four one and two- Okay, so what would have been wrong with a black Sue Storm? There was enough make up caked on Jessica Alba to cover the entire coast of Japan. Also, why did no one love Reed more?

7. X3- THERE IS NO GOD. THERE IS ONLY ZUL. Also known as, please to pick one plotine and stick to it.

8. Caspar The Friendly Ghost- WHY DID I WASTE MY TIME ON THAT FILM?

9. Th Family Stone(whatever it was called)- My mom rented that. God it was SO BAD.

10. The Devil Wears Prada- Have decided to hate Anne Hathaway. Full on hate.

[cmk418]

Have to disagree with you on the first one although the romantic subplot was a little annoying.

He doesn't take off his shirt in "The Departed" either.

Re #8 - That made me think of my least favorite family film that I was forced to watch "The Heffalump Movie". Awful. It was made for 2 year olds. Horrid. My niece still hasn't lived that one down.

[revelininsanity.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but The Departed was good and not really all that action-y(for an action movie) whereas The Italian Job was B-movie magic. Hence shirtlessness and more sex, pls.

Oh GOD. You must have sinned in a past life to sit through that.

[suespur.livejournal.com]

Oooh, Open Water! I hated that movie! I'm not one for suspense/scary movies because I think I just possess too much common sense. I can only suspend reality so far. That guy shoud have been dead a half-hour in, and would have been dead a half-hour in if I'd been on that damned boat.

[rosybug.livejournal.com]

Alexander is my worst film of all time. It was twee, trite and illogical. The characters were badly cast, it was historically inaccurate. Colin Farrel peroxided blond! Val Kilmer in a false beard! The eagle, the goddammed predictable eagle (which, incidentally is not a Macedonian, Indian or Persian symbol, but Roman)!! It was also very, very long. So long it gave me a migraine. Why did I stay to the end? I went with a friend and we both thought the other wanted to stay. We were so angry afterwards. it wasted hours of our lives!

[rosybug.livejournal.com]

Never quite got the point of Shakespeare in Love either.

First Knight: the name alone should have been warning enough! "ARTHURIAN LEGENDS, WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?" LOL

[rosybug.livejournal.com]

As someone said, Sith happens.

[cmk418]

I haven't seen "Alexander" but I'll be sure to stay away now.

Didn't I tell you there would be more as I thought of them. And you just reminded me with your description of the eagle how much I hated Gladiator. I had so much hope (Russell Crowe in leather!), but the plot of this was just silliness and the main point of it was when they gave him his gladiator name - the New Zealander playing a Roman nicknamed "The Spaniard". At that point, the girl (Russell should have had more scenes with Joaquin's character, the UST there was great) had been annoying up to that point, but that Spaniard thing pushed me over the edge.

You also reminded me how bad hair can impact a film - all during "Presumed Innocent" I wasn't thinking about whodunit, but rather how the heck Harrison Ford could let anything like that be done to his head.

[rosybug.livejournal.com]

I wasn't thinking about whodunit, but rather how the heck Harrison Ford could let anything like that be done to his head

LOL! Is that the one where he's got shaggy hair extensions so he can look "scientific"? You know, like "Einstein".

"Gladiator" - giggle. I took it with a pinch of salt and focused on the costumes and scenes of Rome. But I did wonder why they chose Russel Crowe. Why not a more Mediterranean-looking fellow, who looked, you know, like a Spaniard? Mmmmmmm, Chris Meloni doing dark, brooding intensity in leather...