FIC: Recovery (BtVS - Giles/Xander)
Oct. 23rd, 2008 08:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cmk418Pairing: Giles/Xander
Rating: FRT
Word Count: 3313
For the daily prompt at the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
gilesxander Octoberfest - "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
After a long night by Rupert's bedside, Xander breathed a sigh of relief when Rupert opened his eyes. His breath caught in his throat, however, when Rupert uttered his first words.
“Who are you?”
“Xander. I’m Xander. You’re Rupert Giles.”
“I bloody well know that.”
“I’m going to get a doctor,” said Xander and fled the room.
According to the doctor, Giles had suffered a form of memory loss brought on by head trauma.
“How did I get hit in the head?” asked Rupert.
Xander glanced from Giles to the doctor. “It was a work-related injury.”
Both men looked at Xander to elaborate. “A shelving unit toppled over and hit you.”
“Ah, yes. At the grocer,” Rupert said with certainty.
Xander realized that now was not the time to correct that assumption. He nodded. “Doctor, can I bring him home soon?”
“He’ll need to stay another night for observation. If all checks out then, we’ll release him.” The doctor smiled warmly at Giles and then left the room.
Xander went to the door and shut it. “Are you my son?” Giles asked.
“God, no.”
“Well, don’t say it like that. I’m sure I would make a wonderful father. Do I have children?”
“Not really. No.”
“Pity. Nephew? Lilias’ eldest. She would be the one to give her children strange names.”
“No. Lilias has two daughters, Amber and Trina.”
“See? Strange. Co-worker?”
“Of a sort.” Xander held up his left hand and tapped the gold band of his ring finger.
“Brother-in-law. Marian robbed the cradle, didn’t she?”
Xander sighed and went around the bed to sit on Rupert’s left side. He lifted up Rupert’s left hand in his own.
Rupert stared at the wedding band on his hand, then slid his gaze over to Xander’s. “You’re…? You’re…?” he spluttered and started to laugh. “All right, who put you up to this? Someone’s having a laugh on Ripper, yeah?”
“Oh dear Lord,” mumbled Xander.
“Who are you? Really?”
“I’m Xander. Alexander Lavelle Harris. We met in Sunnydale.”
“There’s no Sunnydale in England.”
“California.”
“Why in the blazes would I go there?”
“For your job.”
“The grocers sent me to California?”
“No. God.” If Rupert didn’t react well to their marriage, he surely wasn’t going to embrace the idea of being head of the Watcher’s Council. Xander needed help. “I’ve got to make a quick phone call, then I’ll be right back, okay?” Xander brushed a kiss on Rupert’s forehead and stepped away before Rupert could make comment.
Moments later, Xander paced the sidewalk in front of the hospital. “I don’t know what we’re dealing with here. The doc says it’s memory loss, but he’s mentally created this life for himself that he wanted but never had. Maybe if he sees you, it’ll trigger something. And, Buffy, get here soon.”
When Buffy walked into Giles’ hospital room twenty minutes later, with a breezy “Hi, Giles”, Xander felt relieved.
That was, until Giles said, “Do I know no one my own age?”
The corners of Buffy’s mouth turned down. “Giles, it’s me. It’s Buffy.”
“What kind of name is that? And why do you insist on calling me by my surname? He, at least, calls me Rupert. Which is why I can assume you are not my wife.”
“Your what? Ewwww.”
“Rupert isn’t taking the M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E thing very well.”
“I’ll have you know that the head trauma affected my memory, not my ability to spell. Or to know that the laws of the country state very clearly…”
Xander sighed. “The laws changed a while ago.”
“And why should I believe that?”
“I’m the one without the head injury.”
Rupert looked back at Buffy. “So, how do I know a Buffy?”
“From work.”
“At the grocer.”
“Xan?” Buffy asked, as Xander groaned and rubbed his forehead.
“Tell him, Buf. Just be gentle.”
Buffy sat down next to the bed and held Rupert’s right hand. She rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand in a repetitive soothing motion. “You know what a Slayer is, don’t you?”
“My… my father was a Watcher. How do you know what a Slayer is?”
“I’ve been a Slayer for thirteen years.”
“Who was your Watcher?”
“Merrick was my first.”
“Ah yes, good man, met him once at a Council family picnic. How is he?”
Buffy let out a ragged breath. “He died.”
“I’m very sorry for your loss. When did this happen?”
“Almost thirteen years ago.”
“You operated thirteen years without a Watcher?”
“No. Shortly after Merrick died, my mother and I left Los Angeles and moved to Sunnydale. It was there I met my new Watcher. A librarian at the high school. His name was Rupert Giles.”
“No, no, no, no, no. I will not countenance such lies. I am not a Watcher, nor have I ever been a Watcher, nor will I ever be a Watcher. You may leave, miss. Go!” Giles yelled.
Buffy ran out of the room. Xander shook his head and followed her out. Reaching her in the hallway, Xander pulled her into an embrace and held her for a long moment as she sobbed against his chest. “He’s going to be okay, Xan, isn’t he? We can’t lose him.”
“He’s still here, Buf. It’s gonna take some time, but eventually he’ll come around.” Xander gave her a squeeze. “And if not, you and I will drag him kicking and screaming into Watcher-hood.”
Buffy smiled. “Maybe Andrew should be assigned to do that.”
“Exactly what I was thinking.” Xander glanced in the direction of the room. “Guess I should get back.”
“I’ll have Willow bring you something to eat. Man cannot survive on cafeteria food alone.”
“That’d be great.”
Xander padded his way back to the hospital room. Rupert, thankfully, was asleep when he arrived. Xander didn’t want a scene. He had things to consider. Should he move out of their bedroom and back into the Council school? When should he inform the other Slayers that Rupert shouldn’t be involved in Council business? Should he start involving Rupert in Council business? Was he supposed to be in charge now that Rupert was out of commission? Xander didn’t want to be in charge. Maybe with the rest of the (aware) Sunnydale survivors helping out, they could handle it. And this wasn’t a permanent condition. Rupert could snap out of it at any time.
Rupert stirred and turned his head toward Xander.
Xander plastered a smile on his face. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
“It’s afternoon.”
“The answer to the question, were you always this insufferable, is no. Just in case you were wondering.”
“I’m rather grateful to hear it. Did you manage to smooth things out with the girl?”
“Yes.”
“I behaved like a total prat.”
“No argument here.”
“I’m not a Watcher.”
“I’m not fighting with you, Rupert.”
“Not your husband either.”
“Yes, you are, damn it!” Xander yelled, surprising himself.
“I don’t… I don’t know you.”
It tore at Xander’s heart to see Rupert looking so lost. “So ask me something. Anything. I’m a pretty open book and we’ve got another fifteen hours before they think about springing you.”
“How did you get that?” Rupert asked, gesturing to Xander’s eye-patch.
“Right before we left Sunnydale, the chief minion of the First Evil decided to take my eye as a souvenier.”
“Why did we leave Sunnydale?”
“It was sucked into the vortex of hell.”
“Good reason. And how did we meet?”
“Well, like Buffy said, you were the librarian at our high school.”
“You and I? In high school?” Rupert shuddered.
“No! God, no.”
“Have you met my family?”
“Yes, of course. Marian and Lilias and Edward and all their spouses and kids. They were at the wedding, but I’ve met them off and on over the years.”
“Have I met your family?”
“Once or twice. They’re best to leave out of your memory bank.”
“How long have you been in England?”
“We’ve been here five years. I did a few assignments all over the world, but then three years ago, the thing happened and I didn’t want to leave anymore.”
“What thing? Were you injured?”
Xander smiled. “No. I’d come back and you were there at the airport. I was so damned happy to see you that I kissed you. And you kissed me back. And there was no way that I was ever getting on a plane again if you weren’t with me.”
“Did you do well in school?”
“No.”
“What about college?”
Xander sighed. “I didn’t go to college.”
“Perhaps you’re a man of extraordinary character.”
“That he is,” said a feminine voice. Marian took the opportunity to enter the room at that moment. Rupert’s eyes lit up.
Xander smiled, crossed the room, and embraced his sister-in-law. “How did you…?”
“Buffy called. Said that Rupert was behaving like a spoiled little prig who didn’t get his way and that since I have experience in such matters-“ Rupert stuck his tongue out at her. “-I would be the best person to see him.”
“Did you know I was married?” Rupert asked.
Marian looked from Rupert to Xander. “It’s one of his blank spots. The job is the other. If you could stay with him for a while, I need to take care of a few things.”
“Absolutely,” she said. Xander kissed her on the cheek, told Rupert to “be good” and left the hospital.
He went directly to Council Headquarters and gathered the troops. “Dawn, I need you to call Faith in for this. Wood can handle things in Cleveland for the duration. Willow, do some research on Giles’ condition. Maybe this amnesia thing is demon-related, maybe we can find something to speed up the healing process. Kennedy, I need you to take over Giles’ patrols until Faith gets here, then she can handle them. Andrew, you, Dawn and I will split the administrative and research tasks.”
“Wouldn’t that mean I’d be running this meeting?” Andrew asked.
“No,” every other person in the room said in unison.
“Vi, Rona. You’re running the field. Go easy on the expense account this time.”
“Buffy, you’re my main classroom guy. Get the girls in shape, get them fighting evil. I want everything running as if... running like clockwork. Got it?”
Buffy gave Xander’s shoulder a squeeze. “Got it. Let’s get to work, people.” The others filed out of the room. Buffy remained behind. “How you holding up?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard seeing him like this. It’s kinda like the reverse of when Ethan turned him into a Fyarl. He looks at me and there’s nothing.”
“Give him time, Xan.”
“I keep thinking that I’m going to walk into that room and then he’ll look at me and it’ll all come back. What if it doesn’t, Buf?”
“Then we’ll deal with it.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The next day, Xander ushered Rupert into their home. Xander had decided against moving back to school grounds, because he felt that Rupert may need him.
Rupert walked around, checking out the photographs on the mantel. Pictures of he and Xander together, pictures of the Scooby gang, pictures of his family, pictures of a group of teenage girls. “Who are these?”
“Graduates of the Slayer Academy.”
“There’s an Academy?”
“Yes.”
“How very unusual.”
Xander sighed. “Not to me. It’s been my life for the last five years. Our life, really. Oh, I almost forgot.” Xander opened up his satchel and withdrew an envelope. “The girls wanted me to give this to you.”
Rupert looked at the envelope. “Mister Giles” was written on the outside in neat block letters. “Was this your idea?”
Xander shook his head.
“I’m not ill.”
“Of course not. But you were in the hospital, and the girls were concerned.”
Rupert set the envelope on the coffee table. “Why haven’t you kissed me?”
“Huh-what?”
“Do we not have an affectionate marriage?”
“We were fine as far as that went.” Xander ran a hand through his hair.
“Well, don’t you want to?”
“Not at the moment. No.”
“Was there anything in our vows about ‘for better or worse’?”
“Look. You don’t remember loving me. You haven’t said anything to make me believe that you’re attracted to me. I’m tired of having to explain the fact that we are married, that this is our home, that upstairs is our bedroom where I’ve been living for almost two years. Believe it or not, Rupert, doubt is not a turn-on. And before you ask, yes, I still love you like crazy and it’s killing me to be this close to you and not touch you, but I can’t handle your rejection. Not now.”
Rupert touched Xander’s face gently. “I am sorry, Xander.”
“Me too,” said Xander and lightly touched his lips to Giles’. When he stepped back, Rupert was staring at him.
“I thought you weren’t…”
“Habit. Part of the apologizing process.”
“Oh.”
Xander shrugged and reached for the phone. “I’m calling Willow. She’s in the picture there,” he said, pointing her out.
Xander walked into the kitchen and closed the door. “Wil? You need to come over. Yeah, bring Kennedy. More the merrier. Movie night? Sure. Something light and familiar. That’d be good.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Did you find anything?... Great. Let’s try it.”
The idea of movie night was met with enthusiasm by Rupert. The concept of spell-casting was not. “My memory will return in time,” he said. “I will not force the issue.”
Willow didn’t seem to mind. She confided to Xander that although it helped for them all to be in the same place when the spell occurred, it wasn’t necessary. She promised Xander that she would try it later that evening.
After Willow and Kennedy left for the night, an awkward silence settled over the house. “I’m feeling rather…” mumbled Rupert, gesturing vaguely toward their bedroom.
“Right.”
“Are you coming?”
“I’ve got some work to do. You take your pain pills and go to bed.” Xander grabbed a pamphlet that he received from the hospital and settled on the couch.
“All right.” Rupert started up the stairs.
“Rupert?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“Good night, Xander.” With that, Rupert disappeared into the bedroom.
Xander stared at the words in front of them, but they began to swim before his eyes. He flung the pamphlet across the room where it fluttered quietly to the floor.
The next day, Xander was in the kitchen making breakfast when Rupert walked in, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Morning,” said Xander, pressing an automatic kiss to Rupert’s lips. “How’s your head?”
“Feels like I got hit with a shelving unit.”
Xander’s cheerful expression fell. Apparently, Willow either hadn’t performed the spell or it had no effect. “It wasn’t a shelving unit.”
Rupert shrugged. “Same effect. Are you going into work today?”
“Yes. Would you like to come?”
Rupert nodded, preparing himself a cup of tea. Xander watched him move about the kitchen. This was something that he recognized. The order of things were the same. First tea, then toast and strawberry jam, then eggs. He didn’t know if this was just Rupert’s way or a sign that he was getting better.
“I do want to get my memory back, Xander. If going into our place of business will bring something back, I want to do that.”
“We have to pick Faith up from the airport first.”
“Another Slayer?”
“She and her husband guard the hellmouth in Cleveland.”
“Another American. Young girls and Americans. This is my life.”
“Yes, Rupert, it is. Accept it.”
At Heathrow, Xander and Rupert stood outside Customs, waiting for Faith.
“So where was it?”
“Where was what?”
“Where I kissed you.”
Xander walked to the Customs lines, then slowly back toward Rupert, stopping a few feet away. “Here.”
“Perhaps revisiting the memory would help.” Rupert said, gathering Xander in his arms and kissing him.
Faith chose that moment to come through the Customs line. “Jeez, guys, get a room.”
Xander pulled back. “Anything?”
“No.”
“Hey, it was worth a shot,” said Xander, taking Rupert’s hand as they walked out of the airport.
At the Council Headquarters, Rupert was greeted and warmly embraced by everyone they passed in the corridors. He and Xander stopped outside Rupert’s office. Rupert stared at the nameplate on the door. “I’m not just a Watcher? I’m Head of the Council? Oh, dear Lord.”
Xander cracked a grin.
“What?”
“That’s the most Giles-like thing I’ve heard you say in the past three days.”
“You’re an unusual man, Xander Harris.”
“Very true. Settle in. I’m going to see to a few things. Andrew will be by shortly to give you the grand tour.”
Xander made his way to Willow’s classroom. “Did it work?” she asked.
Xander shook his head. “It’s going to be okay, Wil. I know it is. It’s just a question of when.”
“How far back does he remember?”
“He asked me if I knew how he got his tattoo.”
“He had no recollection of that?”
“It’s not like it’s a particularly warm and fuzzy memory.”
“So what do we know?”
“We know he doesn’t remember a hell of a whole lot.”
“No. Things related to magic and being a Watcher are gone. You want him to come sit in on a class? That may help.”
“At this point, I’m willing to try anything. I’m sorta hoping he’ll remember Andrew being annoying.”
“I think he’ll find that out regardless of whether or not he remembers.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Two weeks passed and there was still no change to Rupert’s memory. Xander was at the end of his rope, tired of waking up every morning with a crick in his neck from sleeping on the couch all night.
“It’s making me crazy, Buf. He feels bad because he doesn’t remember. I feel bad because he doesn’t remember. I’ve been getting maybe three hours of sleep a night. I’m shit with the research because the one guy I count on to help me would rather read about travel destinations in the south of France than pick up a book on demons. I can’t force him to do the work and it just drives me crazy how he sits there pretending to pay attention when I’m speaking. Oh my God, this is high school and Rupert is me.”
“It’s not all that bad.”
“Trust me. It’s worse.”
“I’ve got something to show you.” Buffy took him by the arm and led him into her office.
“You’ve got to be shitting me,” said Xander as he saw Buffy’s surprise.
“I called in a favor.”
“This could be a cosmically bad idea.”
“Willow says it’s safe.”
“All right. Just have your sword ready.”
“Always is,” said Buffy.
Xander walked down the hall and thought about the many ways that this could go wrong. Or, like everything else, it could have no effect.
But maybe this was the shock to the system that Rupert needed.
“It’s just in here,” said Xander, pushing open the door to Buffy’s office. Rupert walked in, nodded to Buffy.
“Xander said you had something to show me.”
“Hello, Ripper,” Ethan Rayne said.
“Hello. Are you one of my mates?”
“You could say that. Not all there, are you?”
Xander pushed open the door and walked out into the hallway. He did something he hadn’t done in a long time. He punched the wall.
Rupert came out from Buffy’s office and saw him holding his hand. “Xander?”
“Oh God, it hurts.”
“You should have learned your lesson after Joyce died. Walls don’t…”
“What did you say?”
“Sweetheart, you have to switch your ring to your other hand before it swells too much.”
“Rupert?” Xander touched the side of his face.
“We need to get you to hospital, luv.”
“Okay,” said Xander, blinking back tears. The pain was excruciating, but oddly enough, it was worth it.
Rupert lifted Xander’s injured hand to his lips, kissing it. “Love you.”
Xander smiled brightly, “Love you too.”
Rating: FRT
Word Count: 3313
For the daily prompt at the
gilesxander Octoberfest - "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."After a long night by Rupert's bedside, Xander breathed a sigh of relief when Rupert opened his eyes. His breath caught in his throat, however, when Rupert uttered his first words.
“Who are you?”
“Xander. I’m Xander. You’re Rupert Giles.”
“I bloody well know that.”
“I’m going to get a doctor,” said Xander and fled the room.
According to the doctor, Giles had suffered a form of memory loss brought on by head trauma.
“How did I get hit in the head?” asked Rupert.
Xander glanced from Giles to the doctor. “It was a work-related injury.”
Both men looked at Xander to elaborate. “A shelving unit toppled over and hit you.”
“Ah, yes. At the grocer,” Rupert said with certainty.
Xander realized that now was not the time to correct that assumption. He nodded. “Doctor, can I bring him home soon?”
“He’ll need to stay another night for observation. If all checks out then, we’ll release him.” The doctor smiled warmly at Giles and then left the room.
Xander went to the door and shut it. “Are you my son?” Giles asked.
“God, no.”
“Well, don’t say it like that. I’m sure I would make a wonderful father. Do I have children?”
“Not really. No.”
“Pity. Nephew? Lilias’ eldest. She would be the one to give her children strange names.”
“No. Lilias has two daughters, Amber and Trina.”
“See? Strange. Co-worker?”
“Of a sort.” Xander held up his left hand and tapped the gold band of his ring finger.
“Brother-in-law. Marian robbed the cradle, didn’t she?”
Xander sighed and went around the bed to sit on Rupert’s left side. He lifted up Rupert’s left hand in his own.
Rupert stared at the wedding band on his hand, then slid his gaze over to Xander’s. “You’re…? You’re…?” he spluttered and started to laugh. “All right, who put you up to this? Someone’s having a laugh on Ripper, yeah?”
“Oh dear Lord,” mumbled Xander.
“Who are you? Really?”
“I’m Xander. Alexander Lavelle Harris. We met in Sunnydale.”
“There’s no Sunnydale in England.”
“California.”
“Why in the blazes would I go there?”
“For your job.”
“The grocers sent me to California?”
“No. God.” If Rupert didn’t react well to their marriage, he surely wasn’t going to embrace the idea of being head of the Watcher’s Council. Xander needed help. “I’ve got to make a quick phone call, then I’ll be right back, okay?” Xander brushed a kiss on Rupert’s forehead and stepped away before Rupert could make comment.
Moments later, Xander paced the sidewalk in front of the hospital. “I don’t know what we’re dealing with here. The doc says it’s memory loss, but he’s mentally created this life for himself that he wanted but never had. Maybe if he sees you, it’ll trigger something. And, Buffy, get here soon.”
When Buffy walked into Giles’ hospital room twenty minutes later, with a breezy “Hi, Giles”, Xander felt relieved.
That was, until Giles said, “Do I know no one my own age?”
The corners of Buffy’s mouth turned down. “Giles, it’s me. It’s Buffy.”
“What kind of name is that? And why do you insist on calling me by my surname? He, at least, calls me Rupert. Which is why I can assume you are not my wife.”
“Your what? Ewwww.”
“Rupert isn’t taking the M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E thing very well.”
“I’ll have you know that the head trauma affected my memory, not my ability to spell. Or to know that the laws of the country state very clearly…”
Xander sighed. “The laws changed a while ago.”
“And why should I believe that?”
“I’m the one without the head injury.”
Rupert looked back at Buffy. “So, how do I know a Buffy?”
“From work.”
“At the grocer.”
“Xan?” Buffy asked, as Xander groaned and rubbed his forehead.
“Tell him, Buf. Just be gentle.”
Buffy sat down next to the bed and held Rupert’s right hand. She rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand in a repetitive soothing motion. “You know what a Slayer is, don’t you?”
“My… my father was a Watcher. How do you know what a Slayer is?”
“I’ve been a Slayer for thirteen years.”
“Who was your Watcher?”
“Merrick was my first.”
“Ah yes, good man, met him once at a Council family picnic. How is he?”
Buffy let out a ragged breath. “He died.”
“I’m very sorry for your loss. When did this happen?”
“Almost thirteen years ago.”
“You operated thirteen years without a Watcher?”
“No. Shortly after Merrick died, my mother and I left Los Angeles and moved to Sunnydale. It was there I met my new Watcher. A librarian at the high school. His name was Rupert Giles.”
“No, no, no, no, no. I will not countenance such lies. I am not a Watcher, nor have I ever been a Watcher, nor will I ever be a Watcher. You may leave, miss. Go!” Giles yelled.
Buffy ran out of the room. Xander shook his head and followed her out. Reaching her in the hallway, Xander pulled her into an embrace and held her for a long moment as she sobbed against his chest. “He’s going to be okay, Xan, isn’t he? We can’t lose him.”
“He’s still here, Buf. It’s gonna take some time, but eventually he’ll come around.” Xander gave her a squeeze. “And if not, you and I will drag him kicking and screaming into Watcher-hood.”
Buffy smiled. “Maybe Andrew should be assigned to do that.”
“Exactly what I was thinking.” Xander glanced in the direction of the room. “Guess I should get back.”
“I’ll have Willow bring you something to eat. Man cannot survive on cafeteria food alone.”
“That’d be great.”
Xander padded his way back to the hospital room. Rupert, thankfully, was asleep when he arrived. Xander didn’t want a scene. He had things to consider. Should he move out of their bedroom and back into the Council school? When should he inform the other Slayers that Rupert shouldn’t be involved in Council business? Should he start involving Rupert in Council business? Was he supposed to be in charge now that Rupert was out of commission? Xander didn’t want to be in charge. Maybe with the rest of the (aware) Sunnydale survivors helping out, they could handle it. And this wasn’t a permanent condition. Rupert could snap out of it at any time.
Rupert stirred and turned his head toward Xander.
Xander plastered a smile on his face. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”
“It’s afternoon.”
“The answer to the question, were you always this insufferable, is no. Just in case you were wondering.”
“I’m rather grateful to hear it. Did you manage to smooth things out with the girl?”
“Yes.”
“I behaved like a total prat.”
“No argument here.”
“I’m not a Watcher.”
“I’m not fighting with you, Rupert.”
“Not your husband either.”
“Yes, you are, damn it!” Xander yelled, surprising himself.
“I don’t… I don’t know you.”
It tore at Xander’s heart to see Rupert looking so lost. “So ask me something. Anything. I’m a pretty open book and we’ve got another fifteen hours before they think about springing you.”
“How did you get that?” Rupert asked, gesturing to Xander’s eye-patch.
“Right before we left Sunnydale, the chief minion of the First Evil decided to take my eye as a souvenier.”
“Why did we leave Sunnydale?”
“It was sucked into the vortex of hell.”
“Good reason. And how did we meet?”
“Well, like Buffy said, you were the librarian at our high school.”
“You and I? In high school?” Rupert shuddered.
“No! God, no.”
“Have you met my family?”
“Yes, of course. Marian and Lilias and Edward and all their spouses and kids. They were at the wedding, but I’ve met them off and on over the years.”
“Have I met your family?”
“Once or twice. They’re best to leave out of your memory bank.”
“How long have you been in England?”
“We’ve been here five years. I did a few assignments all over the world, but then three years ago, the thing happened and I didn’t want to leave anymore.”
“What thing? Were you injured?”
Xander smiled. “No. I’d come back and you were there at the airport. I was so damned happy to see you that I kissed you. And you kissed me back. And there was no way that I was ever getting on a plane again if you weren’t with me.”
“Did you do well in school?”
“No.”
“What about college?”
Xander sighed. “I didn’t go to college.”
“Perhaps you’re a man of extraordinary character.”
“That he is,” said a feminine voice. Marian took the opportunity to enter the room at that moment. Rupert’s eyes lit up.
Xander smiled, crossed the room, and embraced his sister-in-law. “How did you…?”
“Buffy called. Said that Rupert was behaving like a spoiled little prig who didn’t get his way and that since I have experience in such matters-“ Rupert stuck his tongue out at her. “-I would be the best person to see him.”
“Did you know I was married?” Rupert asked.
Marian looked from Rupert to Xander. “It’s one of his blank spots. The job is the other. If you could stay with him for a while, I need to take care of a few things.”
“Absolutely,” she said. Xander kissed her on the cheek, told Rupert to “be good” and left the hospital.
He went directly to Council Headquarters and gathered the troops. “Dawn, I need you to call Faith in for this. Wood can handle things in Cleveland for the duration. Willow, do some research on Giles’ condition. Maybe this amnesia thing is demon-related, maybe we can find something to speed up the healing process. Kennedy, I need you to take over Giles’ patrols until Faith gets here, then she can handle them. Andrew, you, Dawn and I will split the administrative and research tasks.”
“Wouldn’t that mean I’d be running this meeting?” Andrew asked.
“No,” every other person in the room said in unison.
“Vi, Rona. You’re running the field. Go easy on the expense account this time.”
“Buffy, you’re my main classroom guy. Get the girls in shape, get them fighting evil. I want everything running as if... running like clockwork. Got it?”
Buffy gave Xander’s shoulder a squeeze. “Got it. Let’s get to work, people.” The others filed out of the room. Buffy remained behind. “How you holding up?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard seeing him like this. It’s kinda like the reverse of when Ethan turned him into a Fyarl. He looks at me and there’s nothing.”
“Give him time, Xan.”
“I keep thinking that I’m going to walk into that room and then he’ll look at me and it’ll all come back. What if it doesn’t, Buf?”
“Then we’ll deal with it.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The next day, Xander ushered Rupert into their home. Xander had decided against moving back to school grounds, because he felt that Rupert may need him.
Rupert walked around, checking out the photographs on the mantel. Pictures of he and Xander together, pictures of the Scooby gang, pictures of his family, pictures of a group of teenage girls. “Who are these?”
“Graduates of the Slayer Academy.”
“There’s an Academy?”
“Yes.”
“How very unusual.”
Xander sighed. “Not to me. It’s been my life for the last five years. Our life, really. Oh, I almost forgot.” Xander opened up his satchel and withdrew an envelope. “The girls wanted me to give this to you.”
Rupert looked at the envelope. “Mister Giles” was written on the outside in neat block letters. “Was this your idea?”
Xander shook his head.
“I’m not ill.”
“Of course not. But you were in the hospital, and the girls were concerned.”
Rupert set the envelope on the coffee table. “Why haven’t you kissed me?”
“Huh-what?”
“Do we not have an affectionate marriage?”
“We were fine as far as that went.” Xander ran a hand through his hair.
“Well, don’t you want to?”
“Not at the moment. No.”
“Was there anything in our vows about ‘for better or worse’?”
“Look. You don’t remember loving me. You haven’t said anything to make me believe that you’re attracted to me. I’m tired of having to explain the fact that we are married, that this is our home, that upstairs is our bedroom where I’ve been living for almost two years. Believe it or not, Rupert, doubt is not a turn-on. And before you ask, yes, I still love you like crazy and it’s killing me to be this close to you and not touch you, but I can’t handle your rejection. Not now.”
Rupert touched Xander’s face gently. “I am sorry, Xander.”
“Me too,” said Xander and lightly touched his lips to Giles’. When he stepped back, Rupert was staring at him.
“I thought you weren’t…”
“Habit. Part of the apologizing process.”
“Oh.”
Xander shrugged and reached for the phone. “I’m calling Willow. She’s in the picture there,” he said, pointing her out.
Xander walked into the kitchen and closed the door. “Wil? You need to come over. Yeah, bring Kennedy. More the merrier. Movie night? Sure. Something light and familiar. That’d be good.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Did you find anything?... Great. Let’s try it.”
The idea of movie night was met with enthusiasm by Rupert. The concept of spell-casting was not. “My memory will return in time,” he said. “I will not force the issue.”
Willow didn’t seem to mind. She confided to Xander that although it helped for them all to be in the same place when the spell occurred, it wasn’t necessary. She promised Xander that she would try it later that evening.
After Willow and Kennedy left for the night, an awkward silence settled over the house. “I’m feeling rather…” mumbled Rupert, gesturing vaguely toward their bedroom.
“Right.”
“Are you coming?”
“I’ve got some work to do. You take your pain pills and go to bed.” Xander grabbed a pamphlet that he received from the hospital and settled on the couch.
“All right.” Rupert started up the stairs.
“Rupert?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“Good night, Xander.” With that, Rupert disappeared into the bedroom.
Xander stared at the words in front of them, but they began to swim before his eyes. He flung the pamphlet across the room where it fluttered quietly to the floor.
The next day, Xander was in the kitchen making breakfast when Rupert walked in, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Morning,” said Xander, pressing an automatic kiss to Rupert’s lips. “How’s your head?”
“Feels like I got hit with a shelving unit.”
Xander’s cheerful expression fell. Apparently, Willow either hadn’t performed the spell or it had no effect. “It wasn’t a shelving unit.”
Rupert shrugged. “Same effect. Are you going into work today?”
“Yes. Would you like to come?”
Rupert nodded, preparing himself a cup of tea. Xander watched him move about the kitchen. This was something that he recognized. The order of things were the same. First tea, then toast and strawberry jam, then eggs. He didn’t know if this was just Rupert’s way or a sign that he was getting better.
“I do want to get my memory back, Xander. If going into our place of business will bring something back, I want to do that.”
“We have to pick Faith up from the airport first.”
“Another Slayer?”
“She and her husband guard the hellmouth in Cleveland.”
“Another American. Young girls and Americans. This is my life.”
“Yes, Rupert, it is. Accept it.”
At Heathrow, Xander and Rupert stood outside Customs, waiting for Faith.
“So where was it?”
“Where was what?”
“Where I kissed you.”
Xander walked to the Customs lines, then slowly back toward Rupert, stopping a few feet away. “Here.”
“Perhaps revisiting the memory would help.” Rupert said, gathering Xander in his arms and kissing him.
Faith chose that moment to come through the Customs line. “Jeez, guys, get a room.”
Xander pulled back. “Anything?”
“No.”
“Hey, it was worth a shot,” said Xander, taking Rupert’s hand as they walked out of the airport.
At the Council Headquarters, Rupert was greeted and warmly embraced by everyone they passed in the corridors. He and Xander stopped outside Rupert’s office. Rupert stared at the nameplate on the door. “I’m not just a Watcher? I’m Head of the Council? Oh, dear Lord.”
Xander cracked a grin.
“What?”
“That’s the most Giles-like thing I’ve heard you say in the past three days.”
“You’re an unusual man, Xander Harris.”
“Very true. Settle in. I’m going to see to a few things. Andrew will be by shortly to give you the grand tour.”
Xander made his way to Willow’s classroom. “Did it work?” she asked.
Xander shook his head. “It’s going to be okay, Wil. I know it is. It’s just a question of when.”
“How far back does he remember?”
“He asked me if I knew how he got his tattoo.”
“He had no recollection of that?”
“It’s not like it’s a particularly warm and fuzzy memory.”
“So what do we know?”
“We know he doesn’t remember a hell of a whole lot.”
“No. Things related to magic and being a Watcher are gone. You want him to come sit in on a class? That may help.”
“At this point, I’m willing to try anything. I’m sorta hoping he’ll remember Andrew being annoying.”
“I think he’ll find that out regardless of whether or not he remembers.”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Two weeks passed and there was still no change to Rupert’s memory. Xander was at the end of his rope, tired of waking up every morning with a crick in his neck from sleeping on the couch all night.
“It’s making me crazy, Buf. He feels bad because he doesn’t remember. I feel bad because he doesn’t remember. I’ve been getting maybe three hours of sleep a night. I’m shit with the research because the one guy I count on to help me would rather read about travel destinations in the south of France than pick up a book on demons. I can’t force him to do the work and it just drives me crazy how he sits there pretending to pay attention when I’m speaking. Oh my God, this is high school and Rupert is me.”
“It’s not all that bad.”
“Trust me. It’s worse.”
“I’ve got something to show you.” Buffy took him by the arm and led him into her office.
“You’ve got to be shitting me,” said Xander as he saw Buffy’s surprise.
“I called in a favor.”
“This could be a cosmically bad idea.”
“Willow says it’s safe.”
“All right. Just have your sword ready.”
“Always is,” said Buffy.
Xander walked down the hall and thought about the many ways that this could go wrong. Or, like everything else, it could have no effect.
But maybe this was the shock to the system that Rupert needed.
“It’s just in here,” said Xander, pushing open the door to Buffy’s office. Rupert walked in, nodded to Buffy.
“Xander said you had something to show me.”
“Hello, Ripper,” Ethan Rayne said.
“Hello. Are you one of my mates?”
“You could say that. Not all there, are you?”
Xander pushed open the door and walked out into the hallway. He did something he hadn’t done in a long time. He punched the wall.
Rupert came out from Buffy’s office and saw him holding his hand. “Xander?”
“Oh God, it hurts.”
“You should have learned your lesson after Joyce died. Walls don’t…”
“What did you say?”
“Sweetheart, you have to switch your ring to your other hand before it swells too much.”
“Rupert?” Xander touched the side of his face.
“We need to get you to hospital, luv.”
“Okay,” said Xander, blinking back tears. The pain was excruciating, but oddly enough, it was worth it.
Rupert lifted Xander’s injured hand to his lips, kissing it. “Love you.”
Xander smiled brightly, “Love you too.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2008-10-24 04:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-24 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-24 08:29 am (UTC)♥ *mems*
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Date: 2008-10-24 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-25 10:26 pm (UTC)It's sweet that Ethan didn't work but that Xander hurting himself was what seemed to do the trick. Mustn't let him get hurt. That's just aw-worthy again!
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Date: 2008-10-25 11:21 pm (UTC)I'm very glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading!
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Date: 2008-10-26 03:59 am (UTC)Thank you for posting!
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Date: 2008-10-26 04:25 am (UTC)It was difficult having to put Xander through all that, but I was able to play with both characters in ways that I haven't before.
I'm really glad you liked this!
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Date: 2008-10-27 03:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-27 05:57 am (UTC)Well, maybe without Xander injuring himself for the cause, but that memory was definitely coming back!
Glad you enjoyed it!